Essay

In this post I will write an essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of being rich and successful.

Many children wish when they grow up to be very rich and successful, but not everything is wonderful in these people's life.At first glance it looks like it will be a wonderful life,however when you get older you realize the disadvantages and the advantages.

Some of the advantages of being rich and successful are that you are able to travel all over the world.You are also able to build a very big house in the country.Another thing you can do if you are rich and successful is that you can buy very expensive clothes or go shopping and buy whatever you want.

 However,there are some disadvantages of being rich and successful too.One of the disadvantages is that you may worry about losing your money.Furthermore you might not have enough time to do everything you want,like visiting your family or your friends or maybe doing the hobbies you like as you will have to work hard to make all those money.

 In conclusion,being rich and successful can be very nice but there are some more important things in life like having a family and being happy.In my opinion I would rather have enough money so that I am able to live a comfortable life with my family and be happy than be rich and successful and do not have enough time to do things that make you happy.

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Text corrections (I am leaving your original post as it is so as for you to be able to compare it with the corrected version):

Many children wish to be very rich and successful when they grow up, but not everything is wonderful in these people's life. At a first glance, it looks like it will be a wonderful life; however, when you get older you realize that these advantages are followed by certain disadvantages.

To start with the positive side of fame, one main advantage of being rich and successful is that you are able to travel all over the world. (why? explain!)You are also able to live in luxurious houses built in a dreamy location. Another thing you can do if you are rich and successful is that you can buy very expensive clothes or go shopping and buy (acquire/ purchase-> use synonyms!) whatever you want.

 However, there are some disadvantages of being rich and successful too.One of the disadvantages is that you may worry about losing your money.(What are the results of this? e.g. increased stress. Expand every argument!) Furthermore, you might not have enough time to do everything you want,like visiting your family or your friends or maybe doing the hobbies you like, as you will have to work hard to make all this (uncountable noun!) money.

In conclusion,being rich and successful (wealth and fame-> use synonyms!) can be very nice (impressive/ enchanting/ exciting-> use more advanced words than nice!), but there are some more important things in life, like having a family and being happy.In my opinion, I would rather have enough money so that I am able to live a comfortable life with my family and be happy than be rich and successful and not have enough time to do things that lead to true happiness (paraphrasing!).